Tea for Two
by Eleventh End
Summary: [A Mary Sue parody.] When Texa joins the ranks of the Organization XIII, the other Nobodies are less than enthusiastic. Little do they know, however, that their greatest threat lies not in the Keyblade Master, but somewhere much, much closer...
1. Part One

**W**elcome, one and all, to my pride and joy. I have slaved over it for endless hours, and finally, I've decided that the first part is good enough to reveal to the public. I had originally planned not to post it until it was finished, but I figured I'd kept everyone waiting long enough. Unfortunately, as the second part still needs revising and the third has yet to be written, updates will be slow, so I ask that you bear with me.

If you haven't already noticed, _Tea for Two_ is a parody of epic proportions. Having been in the Kingdom Hearts fandom for well over a year, I've grown increasingly frustrated with the number of Mary Sues that have appeared. With the release of the second game, that number only increased. Now, we were given a new place for Mary Sues to roam - even a new breed! Before the sane members of the fandom could blink, a dozen Mary Sue Nobodies had appeared, and suddenly, Organization XIII transformed into Organization XXV. Needless to say, this was shocking.

Oh, but it didn't stop there. Following the Mary Sues were a new sort of plague - fandom stereotypes. Right in front of us, Axel changed from his snarky, bastardly self to a whimpering puppy that trailed after Roxas. Saïx became a crazed werewolf rapist. And poor Lexaeus, dear Lexaeus suddenly lost all sense of intelligence about him. Of course, these few stereotypes are just the beginning, and they only grow worse as you progress.

Flabbergasted by this drastic amount of OOCness and Mary Sues, I was pushed into action by a sweet little plot bunny. I decided that I had to write a parody.

The result of that plot bunny is what you see before you. I have devoted a great portion of my time to it in order to attempt at mixing humor, drama, and good ol' action (which you may not see all of in this first part). I've written it to the best of my ability, and I profusely apologize if any of the characters seem OOC or the story in general is not to your liking. I, personally, adore it, but then again, authors are never good judges of their own work when they're so thoroughly enamored with it.

I will reiterate once more that **this is a parody** for those of you that plan to take offense from it. All of the aspects of this story are very general and are taken from the fandom as a whole. There are a **multitude of pairings**, some of which are common, and others that you may have never thought of before. Finally, please keep in mind that **the story has a mature rating** due to inappropriate humor, language, sexual content, and downright bloodiness later on.

I apologize for the lengthy introduction, but I feel that it was necessary. If you don't agree, tell me, but I can't promise that I'll listen. On that note, every review is appreciated and will be cherished immensely. Even if you just skim it over, drop me a line. I'd love to hear from you!

And now, without further delay, I present _Tea for Two_, a Mary Sue parody! Please enjoy!

**Dedicated to my beloved Kiira.**  
**Special thanks to the khfanficrants community on LiveJournal for helping me with many, many aspects of this story.**

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**Tea for Two****: Part One  
**_by The Eleventh End_

"Superior, I'm concerned about your plan of action."

The Altar of Naught was, as always, bathed in the light of Kingdom Hearts, the moon hanging above it and almost within reach. Though it was only half-completed, the rays were soothing, but at the same time, there was an inner menace in them, evil leaking past that alluring façade. But the Altar didn't care, and neither did the steps leading back down into the castle.

The two Nobodies standing atop the Altar didn't care, either. They hadn't spoken since coming up here an hour ago, having done _other_ things to entertain themselves. They were now simply standing next to each other, maybe a little bit closer than the head of Organization XIII was _supposed _to stand to his second-in-command.

As such, the statement startled the taller of the two, orange-colored eyes flicking over to look at his companion. Locks of silver hair fell down to his shoulders, framing a tan face and those alluring eyes. His voice was deep, and it held the same mystic quality, but it was backed by an authoritative tone. "Which plan? Using the Keyblade Master to retrieve hearts, or the addition of Number XIV?"

The other Nobody spared him a short glance before his gaze returned to the moon, yellow irises reflecting the heart-shaped abomination. His arms were crossed over his leather coat, identical to what the other members wore. (_Required _to wear; it was their uniform, after all.) He reached up briefly to brush a strand of his sky-colored hair out of his eyes, revealing the X-shaped scar running across the bridge of his nose.

"The girl."

The Superior blinked, momentary confusion being replaced by an uncommon awkwardness. "What about her?"

An exasperated growl escaped the slightly shorter man. "What are you _thinking, _Xemnas? Disregarding the fact that she'll get in the way, need I remind you that we are Organization _XIII_? Not fourteen, but _thirteen._"

Xemnas waved a hand. "A technicality, Saïx. Whether or not it spoils the name isn't relevant. Her... _talent_ may prove to be useful."

Saïx raised a brow, glancing at the other Nobody again. "And what is this _talent _of hers?"

"I... haven't exactly figured that out yet."

Another sound of frustration left Number VII, one hand lifting to rub his forehead. The Superior inwardly winced, knowing that he wouldn't be able to avoid this part of the conversation, after all.

"What's the real reason?"

Xemnas swallowed audibly. "She, er... She has... _pictures_..."

"Pictures of what?" Saïx pressed, expression gradually becoming curious.

"...That... time."

"Which time?"

"Oh, you know_, that _time..."

Seeing that Saïx was still hopelessly confused, Xemnas leaned over to reach his elf-like ear, whispering into it softly. After a minute or two, he pulled back, features darkened with a blush of discomfort.

A look of remembrance flashing in Saïx's eyes, but it was quickly followed by a wicked one. "I still don't seem to recall... Why don't you show me _exactly _what happened?"

The Superior heaved a fake sigh in an attempt to hide his excitement, but nevertheless turned around and headed towards the stairs.

"I'll go find the chocolate sauce."

**---**

"I should never have been born..."

A lone figure made her way through the winding path of Naught's Skyway, head lowered and arms dangling limply at her sides. Wavy tresses of dark ebony hair trailed down her back, the front strands pulled back into a complicated bun. Eyes of the deepest green were focused on the floor beneath her, the color shimmering with unshed tears. Her melodic voice was dripping with misery, the sadness absolutely heart wrenching. She wore a beautiful, sleeveless gown of the finest turquoise silk, the fabric hugging every curve of her thin body until it flowed out at the waist, trailing behind her elegantly. A pendant of onyx dangled from her bare neck, shining with an inner light.

"Why me...? Why am I a curse to everyone I meet?"

The last word was punctuated by a trembling sob. She couldn't remember much of her past life, just that it had ended horribly. She had been the princess of a distant world, she knew that much... She had been out walking when she encountered one of _them. _A strange, jerking creature with yellow eyes that glowed like the moon.

She'd let them in.

They'd destroyed the world.

And now, here she was, walking through a castle that was most definitely _not _her own. It was too silent, and she realized that her heart was missing. She couldn't hear it beating, nor could she _feel _it beating.

"What have I become...?"

That man had called her a Nobody. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was something to call herself, at least.

He'd invited her to join a group of Nobodies, others that were like her. They were trying to regain their hearts, he had said, and they'd need all the help they could get. Being the kind person that she was, she had readily agreed.

"Oh, my God of Magical Unicorns, I don't even remember my _name!_"

But she did. Somewhere inside of her, she knew it.

'_Texa. That's my new name--,'_

A voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts, echoing through the otherwise silent path.

"You. You're the new Number XIV, right?"

She looked up, expecting to see a simple man, though obviously a rude one, but simple enough to be of no interest to her. She was, however, mistaken.

What she saw... was a god.

Hair like flames fell to his shoulders in messy spikes, pushed back to leave his face bare. Eyes greener than the most exquisite emerald were focused upon her, glinting as he looked her over carefully. His skin was pale; perhaps from lack of sunlight, perhaps naturally. But the tattoos, which sat under each eye, seemed to display an emotion that he could never achieve. Which none of them could. Sorrow, regret, and even self-hatred.

He was fire. He was the soul of the flames that scorched the planets in their eternal fury. He was fire that danced with Darkness, and the dark robes that covered his thin form were a symbol that he was a chained god, no longer free to do as he wished.

'_...And OHMYGOD he's LOOKING AT ME!'_

The god -- _man _-- let out a sound of annoyance, fingers tapping against the railing that he was leaning on. "Well? Are you?"

Texa squeaked but quickly regained her composure, bending forward and drawing up the ends of her gown in a mixture of a curtsey and a bow, intentionally giving the stranger a view full of cleavage. "Yes, I believe so. This is the location of Organization XIII, correct?" she purred, batting her luscious eyelashes at him.

The man was unfazed, waving a hand to beckon her as he turned around. "C'mon. The meeting's about to start," he muttered, already beginning to walk off.

Texa quickly scampered after him, squealing all the way.

**---**

The door to the meeting room opened with a bang, a downright irritated Axel storming through it a moment later. His left eye was twitching rapidly, hands curled into fists at his sides. Still, the girl behind him seemed to take no notice, continuing to blabber on about marriage.

"...And we'll be so happy together and we'll live in a beautiful castle and, and... We'll have _eleven _kids!"

Xemnas honestly hoped that she was talking about goats.

Axel stalked further into the room and took his seat between Saïx and Demyx, leaving the girl where she was. With a sigh, Xemnas brushed the blue-haired Nobody's hand off of his thigh before raising his voice so that he could be heard over the chatter.

"Demyx, Luxord, you can continue your card game another time. Vexen, I've told you before not to bring explosive chemicals to the meetings; I wish you would listen for once. Larxene, stop sticking needles into Marluxia's arm; save your kinks for the bedroom. Zexion, return to your seat; this isn't the place to _cuddle_ with Lexaeus. Xaldin, you can read _after _the meeting. Xigbar, put your gun away -- _yes, _both of them! Axel, it would be in your best interest to stop poking Saïx unless you want him to decapitate you. And Roxas, you know that you're not allowed to brood and angst while we're having a meeting."

Number XIII let out a whine of protest, but he reluctantly straightened up from his slumped position. "But it's _fun..._"

Shaking his head, Xemnas waited for the others to comply to his orders. It took a few minutes, but eventually they were all sitting elegantly, expressions void of any emotion whatsoever as they all turned simultaneously to regard the newcomer.

"Welcome, Nobody."

It had taken _months _to perfect that one, of course, but they'd finally gotten it down. For one thing, Demyx was no longer turning to his right instead of left so that Axel would end up kissing him. Seeing as how that would always result in either a fight or a make-out session, it was a major improvement.

The girl looked taken aback for a second or two before she laughed. "...Thanks!"

Xemnas motioned for her to take a seat at the other end of the table. He hadn't intended for her to sit there, as it made her seem like she was his equal, but damn, he wanted it to be symmetrical.

She did as she was told, folding her rather nauseating dress under her. _'Darkness, we'd better get her a coat soon.' _Exhaling deeply, Xemnas stood, hands held behind his back.

"I am Xemnas, the Enigmatic Man. Number I. You will address me as the Superior."

Xigbar was the next to stand up, though his hands remained at his sides. "The name's Xigbar, the Freeshooter. Number II, but you can call me _anything _you want, baby," he said, grinning crazily.

Xemnas resisted the urge to smack his forehead. It was going to be one of _those _days.

Xaldin hurriedly got to his feet, having to toss his book under the table so that he wouldn't be caught. "I'm Xaldin, the Whirlwind Lancer. Number III."

One of the others -- Xemnas wasn't sure who -- muttered something along the lines of, _"You can shove your lance into me anytime you want." _ He had the distinct impression that it had been Axel, which didn't surprise him in the least.

Next was Vexen, who got to his feet rather clumsily, obviously hiding various test tubes under his jacket. "Vexen, the Chilly Academic. Number IV--," he started, but he was cut off as one of the vials slipped out of his coat and shattered as it hit the ground, sending the chemical spraying over his feet. There was a minor explosion, and he fell down, squealing like a monkey before starting to scream profanities.

Despite the cursing scientist behind him, Lexaeus calmly stood, expression giving nothing away. "I am Lexaeus, the Silent Hero. Number V." Then again, it wasn't that hard to guess what he was thinking, considering the fact that he gazed intently at Zexion's ass as the shorter man rose.

Zexion didn't seem to notice, crossing his arms over his chest before speaking. "You may call me Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer. Number VI. And I must request that you never wear that _atrocious _perfume again. I'm about to retch." With that being said, he promptly lifted a hand to cover his nose.

The girl didn't seem to register the insult. She was gazing at Zexion in rapture, and Xemnas could practically see the drool spilling from her mouth. The predatory stare was apparently making Zexion uncomfortable, as he had started fidgeting, taking an awkward step backwards when she didn't stop eyeing him.

Saïx gracefully stood up, sensing that it was best to distract her before she could jump the poor man. His voice caught her attention. "Saïx, the Luna Diviner. Number VII. I am the second-in-command, and you will respect me as such."

"As _if!_" Xigbar suddenly yelled, spinning around to flip the elf-like Nobody off. "Second-in-command my ass! Just because Xemnas _favors _you doesn't make you anything! Hell, the only thing you're second-in-command of is Xemnas' cock! _I'm _Number II, _I'm _second, so fuck you, you fuckin' _Keebler Elf!_"

The room went deadly silent, and there was a dreadful moment where Xemnas was sure that Saïx was going to leap across the table and maim the sniper. However, he was surprised to see that Saïx damn near smiled, but it was devious, yellow eyes narrowing dangerously at the same time. The dread came back full-force.

"You're just jealous because Xemnas prefers my claymore over your gun."

All hell broke loose.

The others screamed in horror, jumping to their feet or falling down if they were already standing. Larxene was shrieking with laughter, and Demyx had bolted for the door only to find it locked, as it always was during meetings. And all poor Xemnas could do was stand there and rub his aching head while Saïx and Xigbar began arguing quite loudly about whose cock he liked better.

"Saïx made a joke!"

"Not just a joke! It was a _pun!_"

"RUN FOR YOUR NOT-LIVES!"

"IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!"

"--fuckin' _kidding me! _He's sucked my cock over a dozen times!"

"Pathetic. I've taken him under the light of Kingdom Hearts nearly every night."

"Big deal, you elf slut. He's let me gun-fuck him!"

"Proving that you're too _incompetent _to claim him the natural way."

"My cock is _not _small, you asshole!"

"Forgive me. It's microscopic."

"You're _dead, _you bastard! I'm going to fuckin' _kill _you--!"

"That's _enough!_" Xemnas shouted, and everyone instantly fell silent. "Return to your seats. There will be no further interruptions."

The others meekly did as he said, assuming their places and turning to face the newcomer. One chair remained empty, and Xemnas was sure that his eye had started to twitch uncontrollably. "Where the _hell _is Axel now?"

There was a muffled sound from the left, and Xemnas looked over only to see that Marluxia's features were flushed, lips parted as he gasped for air, body visibly shuddering. Abruptly, the entire table jerked as something bumped against it from underneath, the motion followed by muffled cursing. A moment later, Axel had scurried back to his seat, crawling out from under the table.

The redhead wiped his lips roughly with the back of his hand, giving the rest of the Organization a sheepish grin while he sent a wink in Marluxia's direction, where the brunet was hastily zipping up his coat. "Axel, the Flurry of Dancing Flames. Number VIII. Got it memorized?"

The group collectively groaned at the catchphrase, but other than that, the rest of the introductions passed uneventfully. By the end, though, it was quite clear that Xemnas was at the last of his patience, so they carefully refrained from any unnecessary comments.

That is, until the new Nobody introduced herself.

She stood gracefully, hair sparkling in the iridescent light of the room, her eyes brimming with excitement even as she fidgeted nervously. With a nod from Xemnas, she spoke, hands folded daintily in front of her. "My name's Texa--,"

Demyx promptly burst into giggles, and the others could only stare at him as he slumped forward onto the table, shoulders shaking with laughter. When Luxord prodded him in the side in an attempt to bring him back to reality, Demyx forced himself to sit up, giggles still escaping him.

"D-Don't you get it?" he asked, looking utterly giddy. "Her name's 'Ate'!"

Xaldin lifted a brow, unable to stop from grinning. "Or 'Eat'."

"I believe her true name was... 'Tea'."

Lexaeus was the one who said it, an amused look on his visage. The room was silent for a second or two, and then as one, everyone fell into hysterics. Everyone except for Xemnas, of course, who could feel both of his eyes twitching.

He cleared his throat loudly, effectively silencing his subordinates, save for Demyx, who continued to titter. Axel quickly smacked him on the back of his head, and he quieted down immediately.

With an exasperated sigh, Xemnas rubbed his temples in an attempt to soothe his aching head before addressing them again. "We must decide on a nickname for her. Are there any suggestions?"

Luxord calmly raised his hand, speaking once Xemnas nodded at him, which the Superior instantly regretted when he saw the gambler smirk. "Queen of the Brits."

Vexen snorted as well, quickly adding an idea of his own. "Crumpet Lass."

As the others sniggered, Larxene lifted her hand as well, schooling her expression into one of honest sincerity as Xemnas desperately called on her. "Well, I was thinking more along the lines of..." She purposefully trailed off, waiting until the room was entirely silent before continuing.

"..._Mary Poppins_."

It took all of Xemnas' self-control not to run over to the nearest wall and bash his head against it. Gripping his chair to stop himself from doing just that, he somehow got them to settle down again. "I'll make this relatively simple. Texa, what do you believe your... _power _is?"

The girl blinked several times, obviously not understanding. Gritting his teeth together, Xemnas attempted to make it simpler. "What are you _talented _at?"

She instantly brightened up. "Everything!"

Oh, Darkness below. What was he getting himself into? "Is there anything you're particularly better at?"

"Nope," she replied, shaking her head so that her wavy black locks tumbled over her bare shoulders. "I'm pretty much amazing at everything I do."

Suddenly, her eyes widened, realization dawning on her features. "But... I've had dreams... A voice tells me that I'm the key... I don't know what it means, but maybe you do...?"

Roxas all but growled at her. "I'm the Key. Back off."

Axel couldn't resist, looking absolutely devious as he raised his voice so that everyone would hear. "He has a point, y'know. I mean, he's always taking that _Keyblade _of his and sealing my _Keyhole_."

That was all Xemnas could take.

"I've had it!" he yelled, getting to his feet rapidly and knocking his chair back, not caring as his usually cool demeanor disappeared. "She'll be called the Key Ingredient! End of discussion! The meeting's over! And Saïx, get your _ass _up to my room so that I can fuck you!"

With that, the Superior stormed out of the meeting hall, leaving the others to sit in stunned silence before Saïx hurried after him. Demyx remedied that by clambering up onto the table, already fumbling with the zipper of his jacket.

"Welcome to the Orgy-nization, Number XIV!"

The rest of them started stripping as Larxene pulled out several pairs of handcuffs and a few whips, while Xigbar was already naked and shoving Demyx down on the table. Vexen started to tug off Axel's coat with his teeth, while Zexion searched frantically for lubrication because he had to "deal with Lexaeus' massive cock" as Marluxia was handcuffed to a chair.

Texa fled, and as the door slammed shut, Roxas looked up from where he was kneeling with Luxord behind him, the teen's mouth hovering over Xaldin's own cock.

"...I don't think she likes orgies."

**---**

After some difficulty, Texa had managed to find her room in the labyrinth-like castle. She didn't much like the design of the building; honestly, everything looked like it was made of little gray and white cheese cubes. Her room was just as dull, no sense of flair at all, the only furniture being a bed, a mirror, a wardrobe, and a dresser.

She made a beeline for the wardrobe out of curiosity, pulling the doors open only to reveal identical black coats -- _forty-two _identical black coats, to be exact. With trepidation, she took one out, holding it up for examination before deciding that she might as well wear it, even though it wasn't _nearly _as beautiful as her dress.

Reluctantly, Texa changed into the coat ensemble, folding up her gown and tucking it into an empty dresser drawer. That being done, she looked around the room again, wondering what she could do to amuse herself. (And she was _not _going back to that... that _atrocity _that was taking place in the meeting hall.)

Her sparkling emerald eyes landed on a pad of paper lying on top of the dresser, a Bic pen emblazoned with the Organization's logo next to it. A closer look revealed a washed out version of the logo was the background of the notepad.

Texa stared at it for a bit longer before picking both items up and walking over to the bed. She sat down, uncapping the pen and tapping it against the notepad. What could she write? A grocery list was out of the question, and she wasn't sure if these people celebrated Christmas...

And then, it came to her. She quickly started jotting the ideas down, giggling interspersed with each line.

Looking down at the finished list in satisfaction, Texa folded it up, stowing it away in her pocket. _'They won't be able to resist me! Oh, I just know that they love me already!'_

**---**

"I hate her already!"

Roxas frowned, sending a concerned glance down at Axel. The redhead was sprawled across the meeting table on his stomach, arms bent in front of him to act as a pillow. Roxas was straddling him and, at the moment, massaging his shoulders. "Why's that?"

Axel huffed, shifting slightly so that the blond's fingers dug into a particularly sore muscle. "Ugh, you have no _idea _how annoying she was on the way here. She wouldn't shut up about marriage _this _and children _that. _I swear, I was _so_ close to barbequing her."

"I wish you had," Marluxia spoke up from where he was still chained to the chair, taking advantage of the moment to relax while Larxene was cleaning the whips and harnesses she'd used with him. "She was looking at us like we were _gods, _or something. Not that I necessarily mind, of course."

"Sure you don't, flower boy," Luxord replied sarcastically, currently reclining on the back legs of another chair, somehow balancing with Demyx curled up in his lap. The musician was using the break to take a nap, and he claimed that Luxord happened to have the finest chest to sleep against. "I just hope the Superior knows what he's doing, eh?"

"This isn't going to end well," Zexion muttered, glancing up from the plate of sandwiches Lexaeus had thought to bring for them. "She's female. That alone signifies that this is a bad idea."

An indignant cry came from Larxene, causing Zexion to hurriedly amend his statement. "...Because we don't need anymore women, seeing as we have Number XII."

Axel shrugged, groaning softly as Roxas eased away one of the knots that had formed. "I don't care what gender she is. If she comes anywhere near me, we'll be having fried bitch for dinner."

Xigbar grimaced. "But your cooking sucks."

"Shut up, or I won't suck _you._"

**---**

"I have a very bad feeling all of a sudden."

The elf-like Nobody lifted a brow, gazing up from his position stretched out across the bed. "We're incapable of feeling."

Xemnas let out a sigh of exasperation, crawling over to his subordinate. "A different sort of feeling, Saïx. The sort of sense that alludes to impending devastation."

Saïx rolled his eyes, lifting his legs accordingly so that the Superior could place them over his shoulders. "Do you remember the last time you had one of your 'senses'?" he questioned, watching Xemnas' features darken with a blush at the memory. "The time that you 'sensed' I was pregnant and thought that we were going to have a litter of half-breed werewolf pups? Disregarding that I'm not a werewolf and that it's physically impossible, you completely believed it."

Xemnas huffed, slipping a finger into the other as a way to distract Saïx from the conversation. "I admit that it was a mistake, but this time, it's not. An aura of imminent desolation has settled over the castle, Saïx. You cannot brush this off as nothing."

"Fine, I -- _nngh!_" Saïx gasped as another finger entered him, unable to stop from baring his teeth in a snarl while his nails dug into the sheets. "Just shut up and _take _me, Xemnas!"

"Well, if you insist..."

And Xemnas did just that.

**- tbc.**

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The next part will be posted ASAP! 


	2. Part Two

**F**irst off, my apologies for taking so long to update! I never intended to go more than a month, but writer's block struck with a vengeance. I hope this is worth the wait!

Second, thank you all for the reviews! They made me so happy, just to see that people found this amusing. Thanks so much!

Finally, expect to find an actual _plot _in this chapter. Amazing, no?

That's all, really. I don't need to bore everyone with another lengthy author's note. But remember, for more information on the story, please look at the first chapter.

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**Tea for Two: Part Two**  
_by The Eleventh End_

Breakfast the next morning was an interesting affair. As usual, the majority of the Organization arrived in the dining room on time, Demyx being the last to rush in, as he refused to go anywhere without showering and getting dressed. He was the only one that bothered; everyone else was in pajamas and bathrobes.

This time, however, Texa came in last, clearly annoyed that no one had thought to escort her, causing her to get lost before finding her way here. (Unbeknownst to her, they had thought of it, but they just hadn't wanted to.)

It was Luxord's turn to cook today, and for this meal, he served biscuits and exciting bowls of cereal. According to him, they were called Fruit Loops and were from another world. Axel wasted no time in pointing out that they looked like gay Cheerios, which were from the same world.

Once everyone had finished eating, Xemnas stood at the head of the table, still holding authority even though he was clad in a fuzzy zebra-patterned bathrobe and matching bunny slippers. "Considering that we were all on a temporary respite from our duties yesterday on occasion of a new addition, we will have to perform more efficiently than we typically do to compensate for lost time. The missions you will receive today are more arduous than I commonly assign you, but the requirement to remain on schedule takes precedence over your competence to achieve your goals. I only request that you do not utterly _botch _these missions, something that all of you should be able to adhere to. Before I continue, are there any inquisitions thus far?"

The others were silent, brows furrowed as they tried to decipher the Superior's speech. Lexaeus was the first to understand, and he turned to the rest to relay it. "Basically, these missions will be harder than usual because we had a break yesterday, so try not to mess up."

A look of comprehension dawned on their faces, which indicated that Xemnas could carry on. "I will now be assigning the missions, so please remain relatively quiet. As they are more problematical, I have delegated partners to each of you, based on your previous work ethic so that each group should accomplish more in the time we have allotted to us."

Lexaeus promptly translated that as well. "We have partners for today, which he's already chosen for us."

Roxas let out a whine, slumping forward. "I _hate _having a partner."

Demyx flicked a Fruit Loop at him, hitting the boy on the side of his head. "Don't be so negative, Roxas! It'll be fun!"

The teen glowered at him, crossing his arms moodily after tossing a handful of cereal at Demyx. "If you're my partner, I'm going to kill myself."

"The first group will be Roxas and Demyx."

"_Dammit! _Axel, give me the butter knife!"

Ignoring Number XIII's comment, Xemnas continued to tell them the details of the mission before moving on to the next group. He got as far as Xigbar and Xaldin, but when he announced that Saïx and Zexion would be partners, there was a furious yell. Surprisingly, it wasn't from Saïx.

Zexion had leapt to his feet, clenching a spoon in one hand and a carton of milk in the other. "I _refuse _to spend the entire day with that... that _animal! _Superior, with all due respect, what are you _thinking?_"

Saïx looked equally furious but remained silent. The reason for this was the choke chain around his neck, which Xemnas quickly jerked when Saïx opened his mouth to speak up. Instead of an insult, all that escaped was a wheezing sound.

Nodding in a satisfied manner, the Superior returned his gaze to Zexion. "I'm afraid my schedule is overflowing with vital appointments today, and I require someone to attend to Saïx while I'm gone. Seeing as you are one of the most responsible people here, Zexion, I've allocated the position to you."

Taking advantage of Zexion's dumbstruck state, Xemnas passed him a list. "Now, this is his daily routine. Today's Monday, so he'll need to be bathed and groomed. After that, you will take him on an hour-long walk, complete with a thirty-minute session at the park - I recommend playing fetch; it's his favorite. Feed him every four hours unless you want to lose a leg; his kibbles are in the top-left cupboard..."

Zexion groaned. "Roxas, I'll need the butter knife once you're done with it."

**---**

"Demyx, just go _away!_"

"But I want to know what you're doing!"

"You idiot, can't you see that I'm hiding?"

"...In a washing machine? With a glass door?"

"...Just shut up and leave me alone!"

"But I want to play, too!"

"I'm not _playing! _Darkness, you're so stupid sometimes!"

"I'm not stupid! Let me play, Axel!"

"Ugh! Fine! Shut up and find your own damn washing machine!"

A frustrated sigh left the redhead as he heard the door next to his washing machine close, followed by Demyx's giggles as he knocked on the wall separating them. "So, when does this become fun?"

Axel growled loudly, slamming his fist against the steel barrier. "I thought I told you to _shut up! _I'm hiding from Texa, do you _comprehend _that?"

"Uh, looks like you should've picked a better hiding place," Demyx muttered, and Axel looked out of the glass door just in time to see the epitome of his nightmares burst into the Laundromat That Never Was.

"Axel-boo! I found you!"

He wasn't given enough time to react as Texa opened the door and tugged him out before he could set the place on fire. Her arms immediately found their way around his skinny waist, so it was only understandable that he stuck his tongue out in repulsion. "Get off of me, you buck-toothed, squirrel-faced hag!"

Texa only smiled up at him adoringly. "Oh, Axel, I always knew you loved me! You just say those hateful things to mask your underlying affection!"

Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to ward off a headache. "You have five seconds to tell me what you want, or you're going to end up looking like raw hamburger."

Demyx decided to contribute to the conversation. "Axel, you don't even know what a hamburger is. You just say it because Roxas likes them-,"

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"Right-o, I'll be in the washing machine."

Heaving a sigh, Axel looked back at the girl, scowling darkly. "Four seconds."

She seemed to get the message, but it didn't stop her from hugging him even tighter. "We're partners for the mission, remember? Xemnas paired us together! We have to go to Agrabah, so we should get going!"

Before he could reply, Texa had dragged him out of the room, grinning happily and taking no notice of his struggling. "Oh, my precious Axel-boo! We'll have so much fun!"

Faintly, Axel could hear Demyx humming a funeral dirge for him.

**---**

Agrabah was hot, dry, and decidedly not fun.

Their mission was to investigate the rumors about a large, mechanical Heartless being seen in the middle of the desert. Xemnas was curious as to whether or not it was worth the effort to lure Sora there. Personally, Axel didn't see why they needed to _investigate _it; a heart was a heart, and they needed whatever they could get.

"Axel, my feet hurt!"

And what Axel needed right now was a large, steel baseball bat.

"Axel, I'm thirsty!"

...Preferably one with spikes.

"Axel, it's hot!"

...Poison-tipped spikes.

"Axel, are you even listening to me?"

Heaving a sigh, the redhead glanced to his left, mentally calculating how fast he'd have to summon his chakrams and the trajectory he'd need to throw them in order to slice Texa's head off. "Unfortunately, yeah. Now would you be quiet for at least _one minute_? You're not the only one that's miserable."

The girl pouted, crossing her arms. "Xemnas said we can't _be _miserable."

"Yeah, well, Xemnas's mother was a zebra," Axel bit out. He wasn't entirely sure where such a statement had come from, but in this heat, it wasn't surprising. Normally, high temperatures didn't bother him - he tended to bathe in fire quite often - but there was something about Agrabah that made it unbearable.

"Hmph!" Texa exclaimed, "I bet you're just _jealous _because Zexion made out with me after we tossed you into a lake!"

_That _certainly made Axel stop short, wondering if he should be laughing or throwing up. In the end, he settled on a blank, if not a bit annoyed, expression. "That never happened. There aren't any lakes around the castle. Besides, Zexion's too busy taking it up the-,"

He was cut off as Texa gasped shrilly, one hand elegantly lifting to cover her mouth. "Darling! Something's happening!"

"Don't call me that-!"

Axel didn't get a chance to say anything else, as the sand surrounding them suddenly erupted into the sky, the wind whipping around them at an unbelievable speed. He hurriedly shut his eyes before anything could get into them and raised his arms to cover his face. Faintly, he could hear the sounds of metal grinding on metal accompanied by the telltale clanking noises of machinery.

After a few minutes, the artificial sandstorm died down. Cautiously, Axel lowered his arms, unable to stop his eyes from widening as he saw the Heartless they had been sent after. He was able to discern the six different arms, two of which held curved, sickle-like blades, before he was forced to throw himself to the right, barely dodging one of the other clawed limbs.

Rolling to his feet, Axel cast his gaze around, spotting Texa on the other side of the monstrous Heartless. Surprisingly, the girl didn't show any sign of hesitance, instead displaying a fierce determination in her stance.

Scoffing, the redhead ducked to avoid another swing from the massive claws before holding out his arms in order to summon his chakrams. In a flash of fire, they appeared in his hands, curling his fingers around the familiar metal. The burst of energy attracted the creature's attention, its cobra-shaped head swiveling around to leer at him. Smirking, Axel promptly concentrated on the area's temperature, closing his eyes until he felt flames begin to lick along his body, spreading over the sand to streak towards the Heartless.

And quite abruptly, the fire vanished.

Axel's eyes snapped open, staring incredulously at the trails of glass the flames had left behind, and then at the mechanical beast. Before he could say anything, a shudder ran through him, followed by the sickening sensation of his energy being drained. Frantically, he attempted to call upon the fire again, only to have nothing happen. "What the _hell_...!"

Texa appeared next to him without warning, having teleported across the makeshift arena. "It's using a spell to block your magic. You'll have to rely on physical attacks to destroy the orbs it's carrying in order to regain your powers."

Axel let out a sharp growl, glaring at her angrily. "What do you mean, it's only blocking _my _magic? What makes _you _so special?"

"I'm more powerful than you are," the girl exclaimed, almost sounding exasperated. "It comes with being a Princess of Heart."

"I... Never mind. I don't even want to know," he muttered, grip tightening on the chakrams he held, thankful that they hadn't disappeared as well. "Why don't you stand back? 'Wouldn't want you to break a fucking nail, _Princess._"

Texa pouted adorably, holding her hands out as she turned to face Axel, still keeping one emerald eye focused on the Heartless. As the fire-wielder watched, her hands were encased in a white glow, the unusual light causing his eyes to sting. He made the mistake of blinking, and when he looked again, Texa was grasping two Keyblades. The first was designed intricately; a blur of pinks and purples made up the shaft, metal twisted into the shape of unicorn heads and winged horses around the hilt and blade. The second was darker, decorated with patterns of dragons and elemental signs.

Smiling proudly, Texa answered his unasked question. "They're called the Passion and Sanctuary Keyblades. They only appear once every 696,969 years, and only to a certain wielder, which is me."

Axel simply gave her a deadpanned look. "Do I care? I just want my fucking fire back."

The smile quickly became a scowl. "Hmph. Fine. Just stand back, Axel-boo!"

As much as he'd rather ignore the girl and go about his own way of fighting, the redhead moved back towards the invisible barrier that the Heartless had created. Seeing that he was out of the way, Texa promptly spun around to confront the Heartless, which had finally begun to approach them again. Towering whirlwinds of sand sprung up at spontaneous intervals with each step the mechanical creature took, and looking up at the massive scimitars it held, Axel felt his chakrams pale in comparison.

He didn't have long to dwell on it, for all of a sudden, Texa held the Keyblades in front of her. Her eyes were closed, her body emitting the same bright glow from before. Unexpectedly, she began to recite the name of a spell, her beautiful voice holding an infinite amount of power.

"By the tears of a thousand anguished angels! By the lost hope of a thousand hurting hearts! By the whinnies of a thousand prancing ponies! By the feathers of a thousand soaring swans!" she cried, the ground shaking with the force of her incantation, "With this power, I call forth the Elements of the Cosmos to punish you!"

Before Axel could get a word or insult in edge-wise, the luminous glow surged forward in a rush of Darkness, wind, ice, rocks, flames, water, vines, lightning, and Light itself. The wave crashed into the Heartless, the attack damaging it from every direction. The strength of the assault sent sand flying into the air, the hidden barrier shattering with an ear-splitting sound. Shards of metal shot across the dunes, forcing Axel to throw himself to the ground in order to avoid them. Allowing his chakrams to disappear, he ducked his head beneath his arms, dimly realizing that his energy was returning to him.

As soon as it had come, the blast faded away, leaving the sand to settle down once more. Almost fearfully, Axel pushed himself to his knees, shaking the particles from his hair and coat. He paused in the act of getting to his feet, unable to stop the strangled noise of alarm that left him.

Texa had changed. Her skin had become a deep tan, the exact opposite of the pale hue it had been before. Her hair had reversed to a silvery-white shade, reaching past her shoulders. What were once mysterious green eyes were now an astonishing amber color, peering out from beneath thick lashes. The most startling change of all, however, was the pair of feathery black wings that had burst from her back, leaving her suspended in midair.

Noticing the redhead's stare, Texa smirked darkly, her features contorting into an utterly wicked look. "Oh, what a shame. It seems that you've discovered my secret. You never would've guessed that Xemnas had a long-lost sister, yet here I am."

Axel swallowed audibly, hurriedly summoning his chakrams again. Then again, from what he'd just witnessed, they wouldn't do much if she chose to use that same attack on him. _'Shit.'_

"Yes, indeed, I was the princess of Radiant Garden. My brother _would _have been the prince, save for his foolish obsession with science. Father disowned him, leaving poor Xehanort to continue his idiotic studies of the heart. And oh, the irony, for it wasn't really their experiments that caused the destruction of our world. No, it was because of _me,_" Texa all but spat, her eyes never losing that devious gleam. She landed on the sand, beginning to stalk in a slow circle around Axel.

"You see, Xehanort didn't deserve to have those friends of his. Braig, Dilan, Ienzo, the lot of them! _Worthless_. I was the one who sabotaged their experiment, I was the one who let the Heartless in, and _I _am the rightful owner of the Castle That Never Was!" the girl exclaimed, and Axel found himself staring down the shaft of the Sanctuary Keyblade.

Now extremely confused, Axel took a step back, only to have Texa take one forward. Seeing no other way out of the situation, he concentrated on opening a portal, but he was stopped by the other Keyblade slamming into his side, effectively shorting out his attempt at escape by throwing him to the ground. There was the sharp crack of ribs breaking, though Axel made no sound, merely glaring up at Texa furiously when she loomed over him, her wings shielding the sun from view.

"You _bitch_," he snarled, flicking his wrist to send one of the chakrams spinning towards her. She dodged easily, deflecting it away with her own weapon. Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, Axel lunged at her with the other chakram, ignoring the splitting pain in his side in favor of plunging one of the spikes into the girl's foreleg.

Texa screamed in rage, her boot promptly connecting with the other Nobody's face to send him flying backwards. Fighting to regain his footing, Axel could feel obsidian-colored blood spilling down from his broken nose, dripping into his mouth. A look back at Texa revealed that she had disposed of his other chakram, leaving him weaponless.

Sneering at her, Axel beckoned a ring of fire to erupt around him, spreading from his body to the sand around them, which instantly turned to glass under the blistering heat. Yet, as soon as the blaze came within reach of Texa, she doused it with jets of water, the hiss of steam filling the air. She met the redhead's shaken expression with a mocking one, lip curling upwards in another smirk.

Yelling in frustration, Axel rushed her, his body nearly glowing with the heat he was giving off, flames streaming from his skin. It was a mistake, which proved itself deadly when Texa lifted the Passion Keyblade, pointing it straight at him rather than leaping out of the way, as he had expected her to do. His momentum was too great, and there was nothing Axel could do to stop from impaling himself on the Keyblade. It pierced his stomach, sending a sharp thrill of agony through him, and it only increased as Texa twisted the weapon.

The fire immediately extinguished itself, a choked gasp leaving his lips as his legs gave out from under him. Blood was splattering to the ground, the pain growing worse with each passing second. It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced, and the only thing he could truly compare it to was the extraction of his heart. And so, taking such things into consideration, it was only understandable that Texa could shove him back to the sand, wrenching the Keyblade from his stomach so that she could place a foot on his chest.

"That was a fun battle, Axel-boo," she chirped, ignoring his spluttering from the blood leaking into his mouth. "Unfortunately, I can't just let you run back to the Castle and warn everyone, now can I? Thankfully, I know _exactly _what to do to stop you from blabbering..."

Eyes unfocused, Axel faintly saw the outline of the Sanctuary Keyblade as it was pointed at him again. There was another murmured incantation from the girl, but he was unable to discern the words being said.

A flash of light followed, accompanied by a dull roaring noise, and Axel knew no more for quite some time.

**---**

"The world is separated into two different sides of Light and Dark. Fitting, don't you think so, Superior?"

"Indeed. I gather that you have discovered a being we could utilize in our plans?"

"There's an entity called the Horned King. I believe he'd make a wonderful Heartless for Sora to extract a heart from."

"An effectively completed task as always, Marluxia. Your efforts will surely be rewarded in due time. Now, I will ask it of you to describe this 'Horned King' to me in extensive detail-,"

The door to Xemnas's office abruptly slammed open, a distressed-looking Roxas charging into the room. The usual stoic air was gone from him, replaced with a flicker of dismay left behind by his Other. Seeing the questioning stares he was being sent, he took a deep breath before addressing Xemnas, speaking faster than normal. "It's Axel. Something went wrong during the mission, and he... Superior, he's really hurt, his stomach-,"

Marluxia was on his feet in an instant, looking paler than usual. "Where is he?" he asked quickly, hand already outstretched to access the Corridors of Darkness.

"Brink of Despair," Roxas answered just as hurriedly, turning his bright-blue eyes back to Xemnas while the brunet disappeared through a portal.

When he didn't say anything else, Xemnas frowned, analyzing him critically. "There's something else." It wasn't a question, more so a statement, but Roxas made no attempt to deny it.

"I... He's not acting like himself," the blond muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor. As brave as he was, prolonged eye contact with Xemnas was impossible for _anyone_.

The older Nobody's frown deepened, yet not a single hint of plausible emotion shown in his eyes. "You will have to relay more than that to me, Number XIII. I am no telepath," he replied, but even his voice held the same urgency that Marluxia's had, only to a lesser degree.

Roxas was silent for a moment, organizing his thoughts before replying. When he did, his gaze darkened considerably. "He keeps _whimpering _for _Texa. _He's saying some crap about her 'making him feel like he has a heart'. He won't let anyone but her go near him, even though he's leaking blood and Darkness everywhere. It's her fault, Superior. Axel knew it, he never liked her from the beginning, she's-,"

"Roxas."

The Superior's sharp voice cut him off, snapping his mouth shut after a soft apology. He couldn't help it, though. Axel was the closest thing he had to a friend in this place, and now that he wouldn't let Roxas anywhere near him...

He'd say it was heart breaking, but of course, he didn't have a heart to break.

Not seeming to notice the boy's inner turmoil, or simply choosing not to acknowledge it, Xemnas continued speaking. "I highly doubt Number XIV is at fault here. Axel is one of the most powerful Nobodies in existence; it would be relatively impossible for Texa to even defend herself against him, let alone best him in a fight.

"Now, I ask that you return to your quarters. I will send Saïx to attend to this matter. Rest assured that Axel will recover," he finished in a calm tone, hands folded in front of him. "If anything else arises, I will contact you."

Biting his lip, Roxas nevertheless created a portal of his own and stepped into it, casting the Superior one last look before letting the Darkness close around him. When it cleared, he was in his room, where he headed straight towards the unused bed and collapsed upon it. Reaching over, he grabbed a pillow and pressed his face into it, unsure of whether to be frustrated, worried, or to stop pretending and let the emotionless state of mind take over.

One thing was certain.

Something was dreadfully wrong in the Organization.

**  
- tbc.**

* * *

Hopefully, it won't take as long to update this time. Reviews are very much appreciated! 


	3. Part Three

**S**o, I actually forgot I hadn't posted this. rofl.

This chapter blatantly makes fun of dramatic, angsty romance stories. :D**  
**

* * *

**Tea for Two****: Part Three**_  
by The Eleventh End_

When Zexion teleported down to the Brink of Despair to investigate what the commotion was about, he was met with several things he had never expected to see.

For one, Axel was lying on the ground in a pool of his own black "blood", wisps of Darkness erratically seeping from the wounds he bore. Another was that he was clutching desperately to Texa's hand, the girl kneeling next to him with a distraught look on her visage. Finally, Marluxia was hovering off to the side, his scythe flickering in and out of existence while Saïx attempted to get close enough to the lower-ranking Nobodies. This was no easy task, as Texa - and Zexion only assumed it was Texa - continuously sent elemental attacks towards him whenever the Berserker drew near.

Zexion made his way around the two, making sure to stay a safe distance from Marluxia, who was muttering darkly under his breath, looking positively murderous. After another failed attempt by Saïx, the assassin let out a furious shout, summoning his scythe entirely and impaling the blade in the stone floor. "Just let me _kill her_!"

Saïx sent a sharp glare in Marluxia's direction, licking at a gash on the back of his hand, which had been left by one of the ice attacks Texa had used. "If you think you can get near her, then by all means, try."

Marluxia didn't move, returning to cursing under his breath. Smirking in amusement, Saïx made another endeavor to close in on the girl by slinking low to the ground, approaching from the side. And just as before, he had to make a hasty retreat to avoid being electrocuted.

Zexion couldn't stop himself from chuckling, which earned himself a glare from both Saïx and Marluxia. "As much as I'd like to disagree, Marluxia has a point. I'm surprised you haven't tried force yet, Number VII," he said.

Saïx growled at him, but apparently, he chose to follow the advice. A split-second later, his claymore burst into his hand, and he turned to face the black-haired girl. "It would be in your best interest to step back now, _Texa. _Xemnas won't tolerate this sort of insubordination."

Surprisingly, it wasn't Texa who replied, but Axel. His voice was strained, but that wasn't the cause for concern; when he opened his eyes to look at them, they were met with a blank gaze, void of anything at all. "D-don't listen to them, Texa...! They're t-trying to separate us!"

Marluxia all but screamed in rage, reaching for his scythe. It was likely that he would've decapitated the girl on the spot, if not for Saïx's firm grasp on his arm. A few quick words were exchanged, the brunet's expression growing nastier by the second, but eventually he spun on his heel and strode into a hastily made portal, grabbing his weapon as he did so.

Zexion simply shook his head, turning back to watch the rest of the scene unfold. He had never been fond of Marluxia, but he could understand the plant-wielding Nobody's frustration. Texa's actions were even beginning to aggravate Saïx; while Number VII had a short temper, he was usually able to stay calm in these sort of situations. It was one of the reasons Xemnas had appointed him as the second-in-command.

Now, though, Saïx looked like he was a second or two from lapsing into his Berserk mode. While Zexion had looked away, Texa had fired off a round of spells that had completely decimated her opponent's weapon. Saïx was growling audibly, his lip curling back into a vicious snarl as he began stalking towards her again.

Axel let out a shout, weakly pushing himself onto his hands and knees, arms shaking under the strain of supporting himself. "My beloved Texa! I'll protect you from this... this _beast! _Fear not, for I'll give my life to see you to safety!"

"Oh, _Axel!_" Texa sighed, eyes fluttering as she clasped her hands together. "In you and I, there's a new land!"

"I watch you fast asleep," Axel professed, looking up at the girl adoringly, "All my fears mean nothing!"

Texa all but swooned. "You show me how to see that nothing is whole and nothing is broken!"

Axel abruptly collapsed in front of her, too exhausted to continue. "My sanctuary, my sanctuary, now!"

A pretty sob left Texa's lips as she draped herself over his battered body. "So many ups and downs!"

"My heart's a battleground!" the redhead cried, tears of love forming in his shining green eyes.

"Where fears and lies melt away!" Texa exclaimed, singing to the very gods.

"Angels in flight!"

"Music will tie!"

"WHAT'S LEFT OF ME, WHAT'S LEFT OF ME, N-!"

"_Will you idiots SHUT UP?_" Saïx shrieked, eyes momentarily flashing red. "If you don't, there won't be _anything _left of you!"

Zexion quickly covered his mouth with one hand to stifle his laughter. As dangerous as this was becoming, it was much, much too amusing for words.

Axel promptly passed out again while Texa lifted her head to glower at the two of them. "You're just jealous that you have no one to love you! You can't have what Axel and I have!"

Zexion lifted a brow, cutting Saïx off before he could shout unintelligible things at her. "There's one problem with that. We can't feel jealousy _or _love. And seeing what it's done to Axel, I'm starting to wonder if I really want my heart back."

Texa stuck her nose into the air, obviously intent on ignoring his logic. "Leave Axel-boo and me alone! Otherwise, I'll kill you!" she announced, sending a barrage of icicles in their general direction. Zexion ducked behind Saïx, who summoned another claymore to block the attack. The ice shattered around them, stray shards scattering across the ground.

Once the hail subsided, Zexion stepped out, glancing up at Saïx while the girl began a rant about how amazing she was and how her love for Axel was eternal. "Disregard what I said earlier. I believe we'll need to use something other than force to stop her."

Saïx lifted a brow, turning to face him. "What do you propose we do, then, since you're _such _a genius?"

"Give me a minute," Zexion said, setting his mind to work on coming up with a solution. It wouldn't be easy; Texa didn't seem to have many mental or emotional weaknesses. At least, none that he knew of. She seemed to be fearless, and her morals were righteous and self-sacrificing...

'_Wait...' _Eyes narrowing, Zexion abruptly turned to face the blue-haired Nobody, voice resolute as he spoke. "Kiss me."

Saïx practically gaped at him. "_Excuse _me?"

"You heard what I said," the shorter man snapped, "I told you to kiss me."

"As if I would ever-!"

Zexion interrupted him. "You weren't there to see it, but as the usual post-meeting 'procedure' commenced, Texa ran out of the room. I recall her screaming something about it being an atrocity."

A look of comprehension dawned on the Berserker's features, yet he remained skeptical. "...And you're positive that this will work?" he questioned, tone tinged with doubt.

"There's a good chance it will," Zexion replied, glancing at the still-rambling Texa before looking back up at Saïx, "The odds are in our favor, at least."

With a sneer, Saïx allowed the claymore to vanish. "You sound like Luxord, talking about 'odds' and 'favor'. It's aggravating."

"Deal with it," the other Nobody retorted, "We don't have time to argue about anything like that; we have to take advantage of her monologuing. Kiss me before she starts attacking again."

"Demanding little thing, aren't you?" Saïx muttered, but he nevertheless reached out, grabbing one of Zexion's arms and dragging him over.

The action earned him a glare, and Zexion wrenched his arm away. "Be gentler. We have to make her think that we're madly in love, not that you're trying to rape me."

Saïx sent him an affronted look. "That's repulsive. I see no point in _raping _someone, least of all you. You're so scrawny, just like a mouse," he said, meanwhile wrapping his arms around Zexion's waist, pulling their bodies against each other. Even so, his movements were mechanical and obviously forced.

The other Nobody felt one of eyes twitched. "Is that so? At least I'm not a coddled, cantankerous feline like _you _are," he hissed, "And your acting leaves something to be desired. Try to be less like a machine and more like a passionate lover."

To illustrate what he meant, Zexion promptly hitched one of his legs around one of Saïx's own, his groin pressed tightly against the other's thigh. Without hesitation, he gripped Saïx's hand and planted it firmly on his ass, his own gloved fingers moving to entangle themselves in the other man's cerulean-colored hair. A quick smirk flitted over his face before the look changed to a despairing, troubled one. His voice took on a similar characteristic, becoming whimpery and submissive.

"Saïx," he began, speaking loudly enough so that Texa stopped talking instantly, attention focusing on them, "I... S-she says we won't ever find someone to love us... That's not true, is it? Y-you _do _love me, don't you...?"

Saïx stared at him, momentarily rendered speechless. He recovered quickly once Zexion tugged at his hair, schooling his expression into one of devotion. "Of course I do, Zexion. I love you with all of my being. I would give up everything for you."

Faintly, Zexion could hear a sound of disgust coming from Texa, but he resisted the urge to look at her. Keeping his love-drowned gaze on Saïx, he pressed against him more forcefully, throwing his voice to sound like he was close to tears. "Oh, _Saïx!_ You're _everything _to me! I would _die _without you!"

"Don't ever say that, my love!" Saïx replied, just as Texa let out a watery hiccup, apparently close to being sick. "I'll never let anything bad befall you! I'll defend you with my very life!" Subtly, he pulled Zexion closer, resting their foreheads against each other.

Texa hiccupped again, and Zexion could see her clamping a hand over her mouth out of the corner of his eye. "Kiss me, Saïx! Kiss me like it would be our very last!"

Without another word, Saïx's lips met his with such fervor that Zexion was temporarily frozen in place, eyes wide in alarm. This wasn't the slow-paced kiss he had anticipated, the kind that would demonstrate feelings of 'love' and 'dedication'. Saïx, instead, was kissing him thoroughly, sliding his tongue into Zexion's mouth to rub against him, exploring every inch available. The hand clutching his ass tightened its grip, Saïx's other arm winding around him securely. He hadn't prepared for such an assault on his senses, and the onslaught of sensation was close to driving him mad with pleasure.

A sharp graze of fangs across his lower lip shook Zexion from his motionless state, forcing him to respond. He closed his eyes automatically, hands reaffirming their position in Saïx's hair. Purposefully, he brushed his tongue against Saïx's, a shudder running through both of them at the feeling. A soft sound left him, the other man responding with a muffled, almost animalistic noise.

A piercing, distraught wail erupted from Texa, and they broke apart just in time to see her dash up the stairs and out of sight, leaving Axel's unconscious body on the ground. The wash of black blood had spread, the redhead's features looking even paler than usual.

Zexion risked a glance back at the blue-haired Nobody, quite aware that he himself was panting heavily. Unsurprisingly, Saïx was smirking at him, though he had yet to let go of the other. "Well, I must admit, you're talented at coming up with such plans. However... I would say I enjoyed that, but your _heart _just didn't seem to be in it at all."

Zexion frowned, uncurling his fingers and dropping his hands to his sides. "You can't blame me for that. It would have been nicer if you thought to brush those fangs of yours once in a while. You smell and taste like something dead."

Saïx's smirk quickly became a glare, and he released Zexion, who stumbled away from him. Frown only increasing, the smaller of the two spoke again. "I must say, though, your... way of going about the kiss was unexpected. Is there any particular reason why you felt the need to kiss me so voraciously?"

As he made his way over to Axel's prone form, Saïx scoffed in reply. "You told me to act, so I did," he snapped, bending down to lift Axel into his arms none-too-gently. "Do you have a problem with it?"

Zexion blinked, somewhat taken aback by the irritable response. Just a moment ago, Saïx had almost shown a bit of camaraderie, and this sudden bout of petulance was bewildering. As such, Zexion didn't say anything, watching silently as Saïx opened a portal, sparing him a short look of acknowledgment before walking through.

Once the portal had closed, Zexion found himself lifting one hand to touch his lips. They were a bit swollen, sensitive to his touch and still tingling with a shadow of pleasure. He shivered minutely, lowering his hand. He'd never been kissed like that before; Lexaeus always took things slower, but Saïx had been just as thorough, just as proficient at eliciting the same responses from him.

The thought, astonishingly, brought a serene look to his visage, lips curving up into a small smile as he finally answered, words quiet yet still certain.

"...No, Saïx. I can't say that I do."

**---**

Once he had arrived at the Superior's office, Saïx had been instructed to place Axel on the desk. Xemnas hadn't said anything yet, currently standing beside the desk and surveying the damage done. Now that there was some sort of light source available, more of the wound could be discerned. Blood was dripping off the edge of the wooden surface in a consistent rhythm of droplets, creating a pattern of black lines on the tile floor.

Saïx lingered behind the Superior, barely stopping himself from pacing. His earlier conversation with Xemnas was plaguing his thoughts; he too could sense that impending destruction now. Whatever had done this to Axel contributed to it. No matter how he looked at the matter, it only spelled one thing for them: danger.

"This is worse than Number XIII described," Xemnas said, startling his subordinate, "It will take a great deal of time and effort to heal this injury."

Saïx nodded, stepping closer to the desk. "What will you have us do until he recovers?"

"We will not be able to move forward with our plans while he is out of commission," the Superior answered, "His next assignment is vital to proceed; we cannot continue unless he completes it."

Xemnas was silent for another minute or two, focusing solely on assessing their options. Saïx alternated his gaze between the other male and the half-completed moon in the sky above, visible through the large window in the office. When Xemnas spoke again, Saïx turned to him almost reluctantly, having to force himself to look away from the view.

The Superior disregarded his actions, as it was a normal occurrence around this time. "I will notify Vexen and have him come up here to assist with the preparations for healing Axel. You, meanwhile, will locate Zexion. He helped you in retrieving Axel, did he not?"

Saïx inhaled sharply; he hadn't said anything regarding that, let alone mentioned Number VI's name. Nevertheless, the look in Xemnas's eyes told him that he hadn't needed to; Xemnas knew, one way or another. Biting his lip, Saïx glanced away, finding the floor much easier to stare down than his Superior.

"...Yes, he did," he replied, not willing to risk angering Xemnas by avoiding the question. "What do you need to see him for?"

There was no reaction for Saïx to judge, no expression to tell him what Xemnas thought of that. His suddenly cold tone was enough to do so. "I don't believe that is any of your concern, Number VII."

The elf-like Nobody noticeably flinched as if the words had been a physical blow. He couldn't remember the last time Xemnas had spoken to him like that or had dismissed him in such a way. Always, Xemnas divulged information to him, told him _why _he was doing things and running errands, _why _he was killing innocent people to collect hearts for them. This had never happened before; at least, never before in his memory.

With a soft, "Very well," he extended a hand and opened a portal, the tendrils of Darkness erupting upwards from the floor. Before he walked through, he hesitated. Yellow eyes flickered back to the Superior, filled with a tenacity he didn't truly feel. "How did you...?"

'_No.'_

Saïx cut himself off, darting through the portal before he could finish. There was a strange trembling running through him, but he shoved it to the back of his mind. He had to deal with the order at hand. Letting Xemnas down wasn't an option, no matter how the man treated him at times.

Besides, it wasn't any of his concern.

**---**

The castle was silent for the most part, as a few of the groups had yet to return from their missions. Lexaeus himself had come back roughly two hours ago, and he'd spent that time in the gym. Patrolling Twilight Town for any sign of unusual occurrences wasn't the most physically exerting task, and so he had made up for that with a rigorous exercise routine.

He was now making his way to his room, utilizing the walk as a cool-down rather than use a portal. His coat was draped over his shoulder, allowing the sweat to dry. Idly, he dabbed at his face with a towel, deciding that he would take advantage of this quiet spell to read a chapter or two of his current book. Truthfully, he was curious as to whether or not Hazel's band of rabbits would succeed in their attempt to extract does from Efrafra, or if General Woundwort would discover their plan and thwart it...

Lexaeus was shaken out of his thoughts as a shattering cry echoed down the hall. Frowning, he quickened his step, wondering if one of the groups had returned while he was in the gym. When the sound degenerated into a series of pathetic sobs, Lexaeus sped up, nearly charging down the hall. He knew some of the younger members could be overdramatic, but _this _was ridiculous. Surely, nothing had happened to warrant such a scene; the idea of anyone in the Organization crying to such an extent was laughable.

He rounded the corner, slowing down in order to control his momentum. Perplexed by the fact that he was nearing his own room, he wasn't paying much attention to the ground, thus nearly tripping over the body sprawled in the center of the hallway. He regained his balance at the last second, frown becoming a look of shock as he recognized who it was.

Zexion's shoulders were shaking visibly, his head hidden in his arms as he curled up around himself. He was all but bawling, his calm disposition replaced by one of pure despair. One fist came down to pound against the floor, his sobs increasing in their intensity. He took no notice as Lexaeus knelt down beside him, and he only lifted his head minimally when the larger man rested a hand on his shoulder.

Lexaeus stared at him, trying to form a coherent sentence. "Zexion...? What are you-?"

"My soul is an endless abyss of darkness and agony!" Zexion blurted out, tears dripping down his face, "I am nothing! My life is meaningless and will forever be filled with torment and suffering!"

The older man blinked several times. "...Well, that's putting it a bit harsh-,"

"I should be dead! Everyone would be happier without me here!" the other Nobody yelled, "I don't deserve to live! I cry tears of blood and pain, revealing the true sorrow I hold within my poor and wretched body!"

Lexaeus resisted the urge to gape at him, moving to help Zexion up. Instead, the shorter of the two leapt at him, clinging desperately to the front of his shirt as he wept into the material. "I tried so hard, and got so far! But in the end, it doesn't even matter! I had to fall, to lose it all! But in the end, it doesn't even _matter!_"

"Zexion, really now, you sound pathetic," Lexaeus stated bluntly, meanwhile trying to figure out if the other was actually trying to sing, or if he intended to sound like a dying animal.

Zexion paid no attention, voice rising as he continued his dramatics. "Craaaaaawling in my skiiiiin! These wounds, they will not heeeeeal! Fear is how I faaaaaaall! Consuming what is reeeeeeal!"

"Number VI, honestly-,"

"Wake me up inside! Wake me up inside! Call my name and save me from the dark!" Zexion wailed, grasping at the area over where his heart would be, "Bid my blood to run, before I come undone! Save me from the nothing I've become!"

Before Lexaeus could say anything else, a portal opened off to the side. He should've expected that the noise would draw someone's attention, and he should've expected that it would be Number VII. He regarded Saïx coolly as the blue-haired Nobody stepped out, watching the bewildered expression that appeared on his face.

"What is going on here?" Saïx snapped, visibly wincing as Zexion began screaming about tearing his heart open and sewing himself shut.

Lexaeus shrugged offhandedly. "I found him like this. I'm sure he'll be fine in a bit."

Zexion shook his head wildly, pretending to faint backwards. "Well, I'm noooooot okay! I'm not o-_fucking_-kay!"

Saïx lifted a brow, lip curling slightly. "How... eloquent of him. Regardless of his current state - whatever it may be - the Superior has requested his presence. I would suggest to knock him out, but Xemnas would like to speak to him."

"And the world is blaaaack, and hearts are cooooold! And there's no hoooope, that's what we're tooooold!"

Lexaeus nodded in understanding. He stood, dragging Zexion to his feet as well. The shorter male struggled valiantly, apparently wanting to stay curled up on the floor. "I'm not sure if he'll cooperate with a portal right now."

"Take my hand, take my life! Take, take, take, take, take, take it away!"

Saïx stared as Zexion began to make stabbing motions at his wrists, shaking his head before replying. "...Pity. He'll have to. I've kept the Superior waiting long enough."

"I'm sure he can wait a few more minutes," Lexaeus answered, placing a hand over Zexion's mouth in an attempt to keep him quiet. Of course, he wasn't expecting to be bitten, and he jerked his hand back quickly.

An unreadable expression crossed through the Berserker's eyes, flickering briefly before disappearing. Without a word or warning, he grabbed a hold of Zexion's wrist and pulled him over, throwing him over his shoulder. Seeing that Number VI wasn't resisting, as he instead went limp and started to moan miserably, Saïx opened another portal and walked through, leaving Lexaeus to stare at the place they'd been as Zexion's sobbing faded away.

"Saying goodbye this time, the same old story! Seeing you cry, it makes me feel like saying sorry...!"

Ever so slowly, Lexaeus recovered enough to shake his head, continuing on the way to his room. Due to the sheer insanity of what had just passed, he focused on something else, figuring that he'd deal with Zexion's sudden change in attitude at a later time.

'_Hm... I wonder, will one of the does from Hyzenthlay's Mark tell General Woundwort about the escape plan...?'_

**  
- tbc.**

* * *

It'll probably be a while before the next part is posted. I'm working on another story, plus life is, you know, being life. 


End file.
